Notes from Steve

I was talking with my lawyer friend Penny on a ride last Saturday. I told her of my new perspective - “less empathy and more apathy”.  She said, “Well, that sounds horrible.”  I said that basically - we just need to be more respectful and less clingy … know our boundaries.  She said, “Say that then (sigh).”   We word-smithed it into “pragmatic empathy and graceful apathy” … I’m not sure what this means, but it sounds nicer.

Everyone is so divided right now, and my thought is let’s all just squeeze more into the middle and stop being so involved in everyone’s lives and business.*  (I’m really just talking about me.  I find that when I am too involved or too nice … all of my energy is zapped.) I’m getting to the age where I need to conserve my umph for important things like bike rides and reading and standing.  My coach said, “Maybe be empathic in person, but stop getting emotional over things you have no control over.”**  I will attempt to put this into practice.

Orientation was this morning, and as usual, I did my hour-and-a-half talk.  Amy told me it’s always a good reminder to tell the stories … it brings us back to why we do the things we do.  A standard that we talk about is “always walk people to their destination.”  I say that when we walk with our patients or visitors, our small talk should be “where are you from?” or weather issues stuff.  I think this is what I mean by the middle … not controversial or clingy, but kind.    

This week, practice pragmatic empathy and graceful apathy.  When people want to talk about drama - switch the conversation to all the rain we’re getting and El Niño.  It’ll add back a couple of hours to your life.

*My road rage is strong - I saw this TikTok where the guy said if you don’t use your blinker appropriately when driving, you lack empathy.  So now I’m screaming inside my car, “BE MORE EMPATHIC!”  I’m literally exhausting myself.
**politics