Notes from Steve

Went on a ride with friends on Saturday.  There were massive thunderstorms and heavy rain in the area we were riding in, but somehow, we avoided all of them.  It was hot and humid, though, and dirty as well.  I looked like I showered in mud and mulberries at the end.  It was type 2 fun.* 

I used to tell people that my main goal in life is to have more fun than people around me … I’ve changed my mind, though.  I do feel that living on the side of life of being positive is good and healthy, but always having a better time than the crowd around me?  Those types of people drive me crazy.  I think the eternally happy folks go home and kick their cat.  My thought - and I told this to someone who is extremely caring and smiles a lot - that my current goal of dealing with conflict is to be less empathic** and passively stare at the wall.

There is this TikTok where this little girl is eating her mom’s food and smiling like it’s fine, but she is clearly gagging, literally getting sick, and trying to be nice to her mom. I don’t want to push my limits to the point of regret (running a race without proper training, doing a task I wasn’t trained in thoroughly but not wanting to disappoint) because it’ll probably end poorly, and it will clearly be type 3 fun for everyone.  No one wants that.

*Palit tells me there are three types of fun. The concept of “levels of fun” generally refers to different categories of enjoyable experiences, often categorized as Type 1, Type 2, and Type 3 fun. Type 1 fun is enjoyable in the moment. In contrast, Type 2 fun is challenging or unpleasant at the time but rewarding in retrospect. Type 3 fun is generally not fun, either at the time or later. 

**” Less empathic? That sounds bad”… I realize this shouldn’t be a goal - but sometimes, Iowa nice is exhausting.  And if the expectation is that “Steve will be all smiles and will do whatever to improve the bad situation,” think again.  I don’t have the bandwidth for this anymore.