Notes from Steve

Everything is hyper wild right now - politically - so I’m trying to focus my attention elsewhere.  Biking (RAGBRAI route was announced, yay) and music (the band is pivoting “Irish” for St. Paddy’s Day at the Bru).  I texted a friend (a professor in Montana) who was putting up posts that would garner all sorts of opinions and ultimately arguments.  She’s a friend, and we share the same thoughts. However, I said that I’m refraining from commenting right now because it’s just inciting emotion.  I know - ignorance is not bliss, but with any disagreement, there are better ways to communicate than calling the other side names. 

Dad used to tell me that he didn’t have the bandwidth to take sides.  It was exhausting, and frankly, he was somewhat of a pacifist.  When the going gets tough, dad got going (like out the door, somewhere else).  And … this is fine.  A friend of mine who is Italian says, “We just say our peace loudly and move on”.  This mortified dad.  Used to drive mom and all of us kids crazy because he would always try to see all arguments from every angle before making a decision.  Maddening --  but I understand, and I think I’m morphing into him.  

We need to be kind and assertive and provide safe places to discuss issues that we disagree on.  When I grew up (in the 70s), we had limited knowledge.  We didn’t have reality TV, social media, or 24-hour news.  And we survived.  I think we are now addicted to drama.  And I mean addicted.  Sometimes I look at things and assume there must be something deeper - an evil side (an upside-down “Stranger Things” storyline) when in reality - life is sometimes just boring.  People are trying to get by.  

Dad had it right a lot of the time.  When you dig and find out all sides to the “fight” … it’s usually not worth our effort to scream and yell.  Sometimes it is.  But most of the time? Probably not.