Notes from Steve

I bought a new fake Christmas tree.  It’s still in the box, but my expectation is that it will look exactly like it did on the website.  I know better - it never does; my expectations are never exceeded.  I was telling someone that perhaps my expectations are always too high.  I’m reminded of a story from when I was a kid.  My friend Chris said he was getting this “fort” behind his house built by his dad, and it would have a roof and carpet, so I imagined it would look just like my living room in my house.  It didn’t.  It was pretty horrific. It was more litterbox than fort.

It’s not easy to go through life with such high expectations.  I was telling this to a friend recently, and she said, “Isn’t your word for the year ‘allow’?”  Yes; but -- I think “allow” at this point in my life is more of an acceptance that other people have different perspectives and views of how they live life.  How I would like to practice “allow” is by not judging.  (“Maybe Steve - everyone doesn’t have to live up to your expectations, and you need to be all right with that.  As fully-fledged human beings - we all judge.  Allow with grace and humility.”)

You have no idea how hard this will be for me.  My life is based on unrealistic expectations of everyone doing everything to my liking, AND I also realize that this is the path to continuous disappointment.  (“How have you lived so long with this?” I have no idea. I’m hard to live with.)

“Is there a message today?”… kind of.  I’m not saying we should lower the bar with regards to expecting great things in life but maybe modify emotions so that if something doesn’t turn out to be exactly what we wanted - it’s still all right.  Life will give us “whatever,” and our job is to accept and allow it with grace and make “whatever” as good as possible.