Iowa Specialty Hospital

Notes from Steve

June 23, 2016

I called the bug guy the other day because I found all these weird pincher looking bugs in my house.  I decided (based on my extensive knowledge of house renovations, pulled from hours of watching HGTV) that I had termites.  Before I called, I ran down into my basement (of my 100% brick home) to look for evidence of termite infestation.  Finding none, I called the guy.  He said they are harmless earwig bugs, not termites, and everyone has this issue right now for some reason. I went onto the internet and found the earwig bug. Fact: they don’t go into your ears and lay eggs.  This is how they originally got their name, it is a myth. They still freak me out, but since they are relatively harmless, I can sleep.  Seriously though, if I find one in my bed the whole myth thing is out the window.  I know they will bore into my brain and then all bets are off.

I’m going round and round with a tech company right now on a web site name that I used to own for grounded.  Obviously, I have no need for it now, but they keep trying to bill me even though I told them to stop.  It’s their computer … it won’t take no for an answer.  I had the same problem with my new “smart” TV the other day.  It started turning things on and off without me doing anything.  What is going on?  Seriously, bring back rotary dial phones and 3 channels on the TV with the rabbit ear antenna.  Truth: I have never opened the hood on my current vehicle because I have no idea what’s under there.  Now, on my 1974 dodge dart I knew what to do under the hood and where most things were located. I’m somewhat worried that if I lose my phone or my car just stops on the road, I will just have to lay down wherever I am and prepare to die.  

 

I asked my sister this morning how old I looked.  She said 51.  I was hoping that she’d say “not a day over 37” … in fact, someone asked if she was younger than me.  She’s older.  I think that sometimes if someone asks a question like “Does this make me look fat?”, the only appropriate answer is “Absolutely not!  You actually look skinny as all get out”.  We’ll all be happier.

 

-Steve Simonin, President & CEO

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