I damaged myself this weekend. Something to do with my bicep and tearing or ripping and such … I’m telling everyone. It’s my right arm, and I practiced using just my left hand yesterday in anticipation of surgery; but alas, I will be dead in a matter of days if this is my only option. Fortunately, surgery won’t happen (because it sounds more dreadful than living with this), and I will continue to survive. (I’m serious about having to live by using just my left hand – there is no possible way. It’s like driving with your eyes closed.) FYI, I’m a pathetic patient.
Someone at lunch the other day was talking about some Stephen King movie – IT or something like that. It features scary clowns. Not only can I not watch scary movies, but I have to mute the TV and run from the room when the ads come on. Once in high school I accidently watched Amityville Horror, and for about a year I dreamt that the hole to hell was beneath my bed.
I tell people not to get in front of themselves and stumble all over the place with their fears and concerns. It’s like public speaking – the biggest fear out there. But what happens that is we get so freaked (“don’t sweat, don’t mumble, don’t say ‘uh’, don’t stutter …”) about what we don’t want to do, that is exactly what we will do. I think too much about what could happen – if I can only use my left hand, surely I will perish. If I see a scary movie, I won’t sleep for the next year … or, I could find that I am truly ambidextrous, and that the cinematography in a Stephen King movie is genius and my life is newly enriched by the horror film genre.
Could be and maybe not, but unless I avail myself to new opportunities I will never know. (I’m still not having surgery or seeing scary clown movies though.)