I’ve got a good friend I’ve known most all of my life who is dealing with a loved one who is abusing substances. She told me about this about a year ago, but it has recently gotten worse, and this person is now going away to get clean. My friend and I talked about how people choose partners and friends – why are we attracted to people who have serious and deep issues? Do we think we can save them? Why does the bad boy/girl character come across as attractive at all?
Let’s look at this different. Example: the prevailing thought regarding wellness is that we look and behave like our friends and family. If the friends and family eat poorly and don’t exercise, it’s likely (there’s a good chance) that neither do you. If the friends/family challenge you to be better – nutrition/exercise, good chance you will rise to the occasion. Are you challenged?
One step further – do you challenge? In life, we must be both. Allow yourself to be challenged and challenge others. First we must be selective on who we choose to hang out with/spend our life with; have they demonstrated a positive journey so far? (You won’t change them. As much as you want and hope – chances are bad boy/girl behaviors are there for the long run. Change isn’t likely.) Next, allow yourself to be humble and allow room for improvement. None of us can or will walk on water, we all have flaws, and we can all be challenged to be better. Then, challenge others with grace and humility.
Be choosy in who you surround yourself with, allow yourself to be challenged and then, be the challenger. It’s not a guarantee of success, but it’s a good start.