I’m trying really hard to infuse tranquility into my life right now. It doesn’t help that my cat starts howling every night at 2:30 in the morning. (Perhaps tranquility is a cousin of lack of sleep – if it is, I don’t have far to go.) People I’ve told this to offer suggestions that go from the evil and mean to get another cat to keep him company. I’m not interested in any solution that would add more stress or hurt my cat – I’m interested in solutions where we both win.
Life is like this. There are always solutions to problems – always. But most of the times, solutions bring their own sets of baggage. Like drugs for baldness or weight loss. Is it possible for guys to take a pill and have long flowing locks of hair? Yep, but they’ll also potentially grow breasts and you might get cancer. Weight loss drugs? Some work, yep, some cause leaky heart valves and other types of health issues. It sometimes feels like a zero sum gain/game. The wins equal out to the losses. I guess it depends on your priorities.
At 52 my priorities are different than when I was 32. I think about consequences more. I worry about how I come across and how my words affect the outcome. Am I perfect? Even though I’d like to think so, I know I’m not … most of the time. Pretty much all the time – whatever decision I make I am aware of the fact that a better solution – in some people’s minds – exists. At 52 I think I understand humility a bit more than when I was 32.
Operating from a place of humility and fear and grace requires patience and fortitude. But, I know that I’m not getting out of this journey alive – death is inevitable – but while on the ride, I want to make sure it is as rich … and exciting … and forgiving … and as loving as possible.
I’m thinking earplugs on the table next to my bed may be a solution.