There’s this “calming” thing on my watch where I need to take deep breaths and settle myself. I’m supposed to keep the green background and stars flying - according to the watch. I failed. I almost hyperventilated breathing deep. It’s like golf for me - the most stressed I ever get in life is on a golf course. Like hives stressed. I guess I’m strange this way - the holidays I enjoy least are the ones that want me to jump up and down at certain times (New Year’s Eve) … I tend to build things up to the point of severe over anticipation, I can never be satisfied. Guh.
Back in the nineties I used to think about expectations a lot. At one point, I told people that I only have negative expectations because then I can be pleasantly surprised with whatever outcome, because the one I imagined was so much worse. This depressed me severely though …
We all make up stories in our heads. Some of us don’t want to hear details because we will spin the story in some direction … some of us want all the facts, and we will carefully map out our plans. I would love to be the latter. I would love to dissect factual information so I can make informed decisions, but that is not how I am wired. Maybe when I’m eighty I can do this, but I haven’t evolved to that point yet.
Perhaps it all comes down to hope and faith. I like to think everyone is trying their best - in their jobs, raising their kids and living life. Wouldn’t it be a great world if instead of our first flash of a reaction … we collectively stop, be empathetic (put ourselves in the other person’s shoes) and hope for the best outcome? I vow to work on realistic expectations in a calming, relaxed way … Namaste.