Iowa Specialty Hospital

Notes from Steve

August 23, 2018

There’s this “calming” thing on my watch where I need to take deep breaths and settle myself.  I’m supposed to keep the green background and stars flying - according to the watch.  I failed.  I almost hyperventilated breathing deep.  It’s like golf for me - the most stressed I ever get in life is on a golf course.  Like hives stressed.  I guess I’m strange this way - the holidays I enjoy least are the ones that want me to jump up and down at certain times (New Year’s Eve) … I tend to build things up to the point of severe over anticipation, I can never be satisfied.  Guh. 

Back in the nineties I used to think about expectations a lot.  At one point, I told people that I only have negative expectations because then I can be pleasantly surprised with whatever outcome, because the one I imagined was so much worse.  This depressed me severely though … 

We all make up stories in our heads.  Some of us don’t want to hear details because we will spin the story in some direction … some of us want all the facts, and we will carefully map out our plans.  I would love to be the latter.  I would love to dissect factual information so I can make informed decisions, but that is not how I am wired.  Maybe when I’m eighty I can do this, but I haven’t evolved to that point yet.  

Perhaps it all comes down to hope and faith.  I like to think everyone is trying their best - in their jobs, raising their kids and living life.  Wouldn’t it be a great world if instead of our first flash of a reaction … we collectively stop, be empathetic (put ourselves in the other person’s shoes) and hope for the best outcome?  I vow to work on realistic expectations in a calming, relaxed way … Namaste.

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