“You need to laugh a little bit”, Jordan* told me. Sigh. I know. I think its intermittent fasting - I’m pretty much close to a coma most of the time, and I’m either in a bad mood or exhausted. I tried on some different pants this morning that used to fit and they wear like running tights. Sigh. I think I’m working out too much. I feel like Eeyore - with massive thighs.
It feels like things should be easier … but if you are like me, I’ll attempt the shortcut and end up hopelessly lost. My friend, Carol who was a hospital CEO, would invariably attempt to change her return ticket when at conferences. She’d spend hours at the conference trying to change the reservation and in the end, she’d stay on the return flight she originally booked. When out dining I always have “order regret” - I’m always (always) jealous of what someone else ordered. If I’m really undecided I pretend I have to go to the restroom and check out people’s food on the way, and then I ask the server what they ordered.
This is no way to live life. Decisions need to be made and then followed through on. No turning back after starting. Lose the weight, do the exercise, keep the reservation, and order the Steak de Burgo and be happy. A lot of yucky things in our lives will happen out of our control so if we can reduce the anxiety we bring on ourselves, good.
*I told Jordan my new candles smelled like urinal cakes. She had no idea what I was talking about which made sense after I thought about it.