So, they changed the sizing on some underwear that I buy via the internet to HUGE. I measured them against the ones I have, and they were at least 2 inches bigger in the waist. I talked to some salespeople at a men’s store I go to in Des Moines, and they said vanity sizing* is out of control. This is gaslighting.** I sent them back.
I think that we are telling people what they want to hear more often than the truth. Frankly, it’s easier. (“yes Steve, you really weigh “x” … ok … sure, your clothes are probably very heavy - like they probably add an additional 30 pounds.”) I’m tired of trying to argue the truth; sometimes it’s just easier to let people think what they want to think. However, this is not the answer. Letting people bathe in their ignorant version of the truth causes a lot (most) of society’s problems.
In our Standards of Behavior - it says that we should all strive to practice assertive communication. Assertive communication is so hard. To me, it means telling the truth in a nice way. (I will work on this until the day I die.) I used to tell people (learned from my friend, Marcia, in New Hampshire) that the “mark of a good leader is to tell someone to ‘go to h*ll’ and have them look forward to the trip”. Maybe this message is delivered with grace and tough love, and both parties agree that in order to become better - things must change. Or maybe the leader communicates the message in a way that doesn’t convey the truth, or the person doesn’t take it seriously because it’s offered as a suggestion or it’s not specific enough to the individual (“everyone needs to do better” when the problem is one person).
Honest communication that is conveyed and understood is a beautiful thing. It allows us to grow and become better - assuming that we present and accept all communication (good/bad) with grace and humility. This is not easy.*Vanity sizing, or size inflation, is the phenomenon of ready-to-wear clothing of the same nominal size becoming bigger in physical size over time.